The rain is raining all around
as we make the slow torturous walk
toward a little bit of death
under a remote pearlescent sky
(had the sun smiled on this parting
I could never never bear it)
Lovers' meetings end in journeys once again.
I dread to leave you,
even amid the joy of being held by you
the confusion struggles unforgotten.
a sickly-sweet haze of fear
threatens the warm wholeness now in my arms
for when I cannot detain you
you rush to dangerous terrifying places where—
What if you could not return?
and whispering phobia taunts me
that I am powerless to protect you,
knowing so little of the darknesses that invite you
and not daring to question
this familiar stranger,
beloved.
I own nothing of you but occasional words,
no promise that you will remain safely mine
beyond that unspoken which my heart must accept
or fail.
Yet when you smile into these pained eyes
emotion swells the bounds of my full heart
until I am compelled to cry out
I believe!
I believe!
I believe.
April 2, 1988